Best Practices

Try to determine the seriousness of the conversation. Ask if they have a plan.
If they do not have a plan and are using that talk as a cry for help, ask questions to get to the root cause of their pain. Using scripture and prayer, walk with them through that issue.
Pray for deliverance from a spirit of suicide and depression.
Check in with them more often than usual for the next few weeks. Offer to be a resource for them if they need a place to talk. If this is the case, please lean on your resource leader for extra support during this time for yourself.
If they have a plan or self-harm is imminent, do not leave them. If you are on the phone or messaging with them, try to find out where they are and go to them. Once you have a location, go to them and call 911. Then call Brian or Angie and we will come to you.
Go with them to the counseling center to get professional help (SS 1400).

Affirm them and their bravery in admitting the addiction.
Pray for deliverance from spiritual bondage involved in the addiction.
Ask for permission to share with either your resource team leader or Brian/Angie so you are not counseling them alone.
If the addiction is substance abuse, go with them to the campus Counseling & Health Center (SS 1400) to begin the process of getting professional help
If the addiction is to porn, help them to install a monitoring system on their phone/computer.
Recognize you cannot heal them but be a friend to them as they fight the battle to overcome addiction.
Make sure you are getting the help and support you need and are not supporting them alone.

Affirm their bravery and honesty.
Walk with them through repentance. Use TFM Module “Repentance: God’s Invitation to Freedom” and “God Forgives You When You Ask”
Help them determine who they need to make restitution to. Use TFM Module “Guidelines for Making Restitution”
Pray with them
Set accountable goals for the repentance and restitution process. Hold them accountable to those goals.

If they are willing, work with them to figure out why they are unrepentant. Is it a lack of knowledge, pride, shame, fear, etc.?
Go through TFM Module: “Repentance: God’s Invitation to Freedom”
Read through Galatians 5, Ephesians 4 and Colossians 3
Pray for them and continue to speak the truth in love. Point out the potential Christ has for them and how their sin is corrupting their lives and their potential.
If the student continues to be unrepentant and continues in sin, follow the Matthew 18 model by asking your co-leader to confront the student with you. If that does not have an effect, ask your Phlock leader to join the process.

In the meeting, direct conversation away from them when they begin oversharing. Say something like, “Thank you________ for your insights. What does someone else think.” Or, “____________ you’ve had really good things to share, but I’d love to hear from a couple other people as well.”
If the person does not self-correct, set up a time to meet with them one on one. Explain how you value their input and share your vision for Core Group being a place where everyone has a chance to listen and a chance to talk.
Ask them to help you keep a handle on the conversation by noticing who is speaking and who is not.

Call on them specifically to answer questions in Core Group.
Ask them if they need prayer for anything, and/or ask them to pray out loud for others.
In one-on-one meetings, explore their participation and see if there is an underlying cause (social anxiety, little Bible knowledge, etc.). Pray for them and work together through that issue.